Emotionally focused therapy (EFT) for couples (or couples counselling) has taken the guess-work out of building a secure and satisfying relationship.
Decades of research has given us a clear MAP that shows us what it is we really need, and also helps us to make sense of the ways we can really mess it up – even when we're doing the best we can.
EFT therapists use this map to cut to the chase. Research (lots of it over the last 30 years..) shows that with a trained EFT therapist most couples (over 70%) turned their relationship around (from distressed – even very badly distressed - to happy and securely connected) in 15-20 sessions, and over 90% of couples reported that they were 'significantly improved'.
EFT helps address the core questions we tend to ask ourselves in our most important relationships: Do I matter deeply to my partner? Will he/she be there for me when I really need them? Can I count on them to have my back? Do I feel secure enough in my relationship to relax and be my real authentic self?
These questions tend to be at the heart of how we relate to each other.If we get a 'no' or a 'maybe' to any of them, we can be left feeling very isolated and alone, and reacting in some very predicatable, but unhelpful ways.
EFT is all about making sense of those predictable but unhelpful ways of relating, and building better, more satisfying patterns that leave us feeling more open, trusting and understood.
This is a blame-free process. Whether you are living like room-mates or sparring partners. Whether you're having the same argument over and over again, or living lives of quiet, lonely desperation. Whether you are having unsatisfying sex, or not enough sex, or no sex at all.
And even if one of you has done something that's left the other wounded and wondering if trust can ever be restored.
CoupleWorks offers options to meet your individual needs.
If your difficulties are getting the better of you more often than not, and have been building for quite some time, your needs may best be met in a therapy/counselling setting. If you're both committed to making this relationship work and building a secure bond together, then Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples is for you. Let's dive in and get started. Weekly appointments are a great option for couples who live locally to the Newcastle area.
However if you live further away, OR if your relationship is reeling from an urgent or overwhelming situation, then you may want to consider an EFT Intensive. 15 hours of therapy over 2.5 days. Not for the faint-hearted, but it could just be the most important 15 hours of your relationship.
But not everyone is willing or ready to commit to building a secure connection with their partner. There's a variety of really valid and understandable reasons for that, but if we try and put the cart before the horse and start before both of you are ready, then plain and simple, it just won't work. And we'll all end up hurt and disappointed. Even me.
If that sounds like you, our best bet is to undertake some discernment counselling to support you both in being able to get unstuck and make a decision one way or the other. This is a time-limited process that can be done in a short number of weekly sessions, or a Discernment Intensive (8 hours over 2 days) to cut to the chase.
But if you are interested in making a good relationship even better then come to a Relationship Reboot Tune Up Weekend.
Not everyone knows up front which one is best for them. Or what their partner wants most. We can chat on the phone about it if that's helpful, or we can set our first goal as identifying which path is right for you both. If you would like more information on how to get your relationship back on track, please contact us.